Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize