i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
