we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
not ubering you a puppy
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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