How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I didn't notice because vodka
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
