The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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