He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
