Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Randomize
