How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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