Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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