im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
