he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
