I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
