Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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