i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I need water and some morals
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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