you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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