Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
