i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
