OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Reggie can tackle my bush.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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