its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
