well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
