i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
