every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The feeling are messing with the penis
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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