Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
