very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
