Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Randomize
