we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
