Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
