id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
cat food counts as protein by the way
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
