you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
