so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
