oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
