I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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