this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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