We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
