There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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