ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
