Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
We need to rekindle our bromance
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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