how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
