He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
