The maid of honor just puked.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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