I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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