I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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