He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
