You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
