dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
