i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
