I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
