you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
