ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
