i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
