Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
