so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
